Overcome the Power and Obsession of Self-Contempt

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2 Steps to Becoming the New Creature God Made You to Be

I remember my first conversation with Lonnie. Nobody formally introduced us. We just began speaking to each other as we stood in the foyer of the church. He was one of those people who never knew a stranger and treated everyone like the dearest of friends from the first conversation.

I was a teacher for the adult Sunday School class. But Lonnie didn’t attend Sunday School. He unofficially led what became known as the “foyer Sunday School class,” which was made up of people who socialized in the foyer during the Sunday School hour. He was usually at church in time to attend Sunday School, but instead of going to the class he lingered in the foyer to chat with people and wandered through the church to see if anyone needed anything. He would do anything for anyone. He was a friend to all.

At that time, I was finishing up law school and Lonnie was pursuing his PhD. Although he mentioned that he was also in school, he never mentioned he was pursuing a PhD. Instead, he talked about me and how great it was that I was completing law school. He was like that, always focusing on other people. Always encouraging others.

God had clearly made Lonnie a new creature when he found the Lord.

New Creature

2 Corinthians 5:17-18 is a very well-known passage of scripture. It assures us we are new creatures when we live in Christ. We are new because all of the old things of our lives are passed away and are now made new because God has reconciled us to Him and given us the ministry of reconciliation. We cling to this promise when we come into relationship with Christ.   But do we really believe it? Do we really live like a new creature: Boldly sharing our testimonies with those who have not yet come to know Christ; Encouraging those who are struggling to see God’s work in their lives; Loving people by putting them above our own desires? Lonnie did this in amazing ways.

Overcome by the Blood of the Lamb and the Word of our Testimony

We each have a testimony. Revelations 12:10-11 tells us there is an accuser that accuses us before God day and night. Who is that accuser? It is Satan. Yet we overcome the accuser of the brethren by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimonies. God casts that accuser down.

Who else accuses us, day and night? If we have a past we are ashamed of, we accuse ourselves day and night.

After coming to Christ, we accept His forgiveness. We even share with others how good He is. But in our private times, many of us hang onto our pasts. Although we trust God, we don’t trust ourselves. And we accuse ourselves.

Impostor Phenomenon

There is a psychological phenomenon called the impostor syndrome or the impostor phenomenon. Despite external evidence of their competence, those with the syndrome remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved. Many of us suffer from this impostor syndrome when we consider being made a new creature through Christ. We see the external effects of God’s grace. We are thankful for it. But we also expect the other shoe to drop and reveal to everyone who we really are. In this fear of being revealed for who we think we really are, we are denying God’s grace that made us a new creature when He became our Lord and Savior.

Reality of Transformation

My memories of Lonnie remind me the importance of standing on the reality that God made us a new creature when we experienced salvation through His forgiveness. He threw our sin as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). He remembers our sin no more. We have to also let go of it.

Romans 8:1-4 illustrates the new creature each of us has become. Christ died for us and He made us righteous, enabling us to walk in the Spirit without condemnation. We have a loving heavenly Father. Together we are glorified (Romans 8:15-17).

We must hold our heads up, look into the face of God, and accept our position as heirs with Christ. If we wallow in self-contempt, obsessively accusing ourselves day and night, we miss the wonderful blessings God has poured out on us. And we bring dysfunction, distrust, and bitterness into our relationships, including those with our spouses and children. Sometimes we allow our self-contempt to keep us out of relationships altogether.

Lonnie was a new creature. Had I known the old Lonnie I would not have recognized the man who stood in front of me during our first conversation. The old Lonnie was a drug addict, sentenced to prison more than once. He left a wife and son. But by God’s mercy, the old Lonnie met God while in prison. He repented, experienced salvation, and became the new creature I knew.

After coming to know the Lord, Lonnie pursued formal education. He earned a master’s degree in Criminology/Criminal Justice and at sixty-three years old was awarded his PhD in Psychology. He devoted his new life to helping many people find their way from substance abuse to health and a positive future. And he reconciled with his wife!

Lonnie did not let the failures and pain of his past bind him to the life of the old Lonnie. He did not wallow in self-contempt and obsessively accuse himself. Instead, he grabbed hold of all the grace God had to offer, devotedly served Him, and became the man and example God had purposed for his life.

Avoiding the Harm of our Past

How do we avoid languishing in the impostor syndrome and self-contempt? How do we prevent the harm our pasts can bring into our current relationships? Paul’s letter to the church in Corinth (2 Corinthians 7:9-11) shows us the way.

The first step is to repent as a result of godly sorrow. What is godly sorrow? It is sorrow that arises out of respect for God, out of viewing sin as God views it, which is a separation between ourselves and God. And godly sorrow leads us to God to obtain forgiveness and salvation.

In contrast, worldly sorrow results from condemnation heaped on us by ourselves or others. It generally results in running away from God.

The second step is to step out of the bondage and self-condemnation of the past. If you have already repented and received salvation but self-contempt still haunts you, you are likely hanging on to the past, not forgiving yourself, and not taking God at His word.

2 Corinthians 7:11 lists the results of godly sorrow, which include a desire to walk with God, putting behind the sin and guilt, and looking at all sin with distaste. As Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary explains, “Sorrow according to the will of God, tending to the glory of God, and wrought by the Spirit of God, renders the heart humble, contrite, submissive, disposed to mortify every sin, and to walk in newness of life (https://biblehub.com/commentaries/2_corinthians/7-11.html).” If we let it, godly sorrow will help us move from self-condemnation to a new life in God. (See the How We Are to Walk Section of How to be Confident in Knowing God’s Will – Confidence in God for information about walking in newness of life.)

Although Paul was writing to the Corinthian church regarding specific events for which the congregation repented as a result of godly sorrow, the description can apply to all of us when we return to God out of godly sorrow. When godly sorrow led you to repentance, you became a new creature, clearing your name before God, causing you to be zealous for God with a vehement desire to do His will. Take your position as a child of God, joint heir with Christ, and step out of the condemnation that you have been heaping upon yourself.

If you are sorry for the sin in your life but are running from God, you are struggling with worldly sorrow that chases you away from God and leads to death. God is available to you. You need only look at the sin the way God does, recognizing that you need and want God but the sin has separated you from Him. That turns the worldly sorrow into Godly sorrow that leads to repentance. God loves you. He robed Himself in flesh and died on the cross for you. He wants to accept you as a child and make you a new creature, forgiven, clearing your name before God, causing you to be zealous for Him with a vehement desire to do His will.

Confidently Walk in Faith

I pray you will let Lonnie’s story inspire you to let go of the past and become all God intended for you to be without the baggage of self-contempt. Grab hold of the promises of God in 2 Corinthians 5:17-18 and accept yourself as the new creature God has created you to be. We can all confidently walk in faith, taking God at His word, that we are new creatures in Him. Our sin no longer exists and there is now no condemnation.

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