Does God Father All of His Children the Same?
Discover How God Changes His Fathering Based on How We Seek Him
I have walked with God for many years. And I have seen how my walk started like a roller coaster, up and down, drawing close to Him and then being distracted by the things of the world. And I have seen how my walk with Him was transformed into consistent growth as I intentionally drew closer to Him and sought Him at every turn. And I know many people who have experienced this same pattern in their lives and others who have struggled for years with the roller coaster. What makes the difference? Why do some stay on the roller coaster and others settle into a consistent growth pattern?
How God Fathers Changes Based on How We Seek Him
Scripture has many examples of people God fathered. How He fathered them changed based on how they sought Him.
In Deuteronomy 1:30-31, God was fathering Israel as a nation. He was fathering His people in general. He did so by going before them, fighting for them, and carrying them “as a father carries his son.” He provides this kind of fathering to all of His children, all those who have experienced salvation and walk with Him.
We also read in Deuteronomy 32:8-9 that God sets boundaries for all of His children. Although this speaks of physical boundaries, we also know He sets boundaries to keep us safe from the physical and emotional harm caused by many worldly indulgences. (To read more about how and why God sets boundaries for His children, see Do You Feel Your Freedom is Limited by the Boundaries God Sets? – Confidence in God.)
By reading Matthew 6:25-34, we see how God fathers a more narrow group of people through provision of the things they need. As part of what we commonly call the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus instructed the people not to worry about what they will eat, drink, or wear. Instead, for those who seek the kingdom of God first, all of these things will be provided. There is greater provision for those who seek God first!
Psalm 103:11-14 illustrates how God fathers us with a greater love when we worship him reverently and with awe. “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.” God does not shower this type of love on all of mankind – He reserves it for those who fear Him, looking upon Him with reverence and awe.
God also fathers individuals. Through the prophet Nathan, God told David in 2 Samuel 7:14 “I will be his [Solomon’s] father, and he will be my son. When he does wrong, I will punish him with the rod of men, with floggings inflicted by men.” Although few of us relish the idea of being disciplined by God through the punishment of men, we all understand that a good father disciplines His children. And God will do the same for those who have been left without an earthly father.
As you can see, God fathers His people in general. All of us can call upon God as Father. He carries us, sets boundaries for us, shields us, leads us, feeds us, etc. Although we experience this kind of fathering from God, we often continue looking to the world for enjoyment, satisfaction and love. That’s when we experience that roller coaster in our walk with God.
For those who seek His kingdom and His righteousness and who fear Him, God comes closer and tends to the details of our lives. He provides for us beautifully as He does the birds of the air and the lilies of the field. And, He has compassion on us. It is through intentionally seeking Him first that we begin noticing steady growth in our walk with God and realizing the roller coaster is behind us.
Then, God gets very personal with us as He did with Solomon. When life deals us the really hard blows, such as losing our earthly father, God moves even closer and fills that gap. He continues to provide the good stuff, and asserts punishment and discipline where necessary to produce a very specific character or pattern of behavior — to make us godly.
God Fathers Those with Emotionally and Physically Absent Fathers
God doesn’t father only those who have lost their earthly father to death. David proclaims in Psalm 27:10, “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.” God fathers those whose parents forsake them. To forsake includes renouncing, leaving altogether, deserting and abandoning. God fathers those who are separated from their fathers physically or emotionally. God moves in, as He did for Solomon, and fills the gap that our fathers may have left.
I met my father for the first time when I was 16 years old. Subsequently, I had a few occasions to visit him through the years. As much as I hungered for a close father/daughter relationship, it really never occurred.
Only months before my father’s death I had an opportunity to share with him how I felt. I am so glad I did. I had never done it before. Here’s part of an email I sent him in August before he unexpectedly died the following February.
Dad, you have been on my mind lately. And I guess I’ll take this opportunity to tell you that I love you! We have both tried to make a father/daughter relationship over the years but it has been difficult for a variety of reasons, but mostly because we live so far apart and because we don’t have the memories of a lifetime together to draw upon. As we both grow older, it becomes more and more difficult to build that relationship.
My dad responded to this email.
Thanks Julie. I think under the circumstances we have done pretty well in our relationship. I agree with all you say. We haven’t burdened each other and we always have known when it comes down to the nitty gritty we will be there for each other.
Why do I share this information with you? To illustrate the void I had that I wanted to fill with my father’s love. However, never did the fact that my father left me, allowed another man to adopt me, and never contacted me affect my relationship with God. I never had a problem recognizing God as my father, one that loves me unconditionally, carries me, sets boundaries for me, shields me, leads me, feeds me. God filled the gap. You can also have confidence that God fills the gap for you if you do not have a close, loving father in your life.
An Active Heavenly Father
I encourage you to study the above scriptures so you can have confidence that God fathers all of His children, including you, and he moves in closer to those who seek His kingdom and His righteousness first. Your walk with God can be transformed from a roller coaster to consistent growth as you intentionally draw closer to Him and seek Him first. And if you have lost your earthly father, physically or emotional, search your life and see how God has moved close and filled the gap your earthly father left. Thank God for His love, provision, and discipline.
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