Do You See Your Parents When You Look in the Mirror?

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We Become Like Our Heavenly Father as We Follow Jesus’s Example, the Teaching of the Word, and the Holy Spirit

Have you ever felt destined to be just like your parents? For some of us that makes us very happy because we had wonderful parents who loved us, protected us, guided us. And for others it concerns us because we didn’t have model parents. Whether the thought of becoming like your parents makes you happy or terrifies you, or anything in between, we can all benefit by remembering that Jesus is our heavenly Father and considering how He fathers us.

Becoming Christ-Like

Christians are called to be Christ-like. Paul, John and Peter all taught the early Christians to be like Christ. I think Paul said it best in his letter to the church in Ephesus: “Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children: And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.” (Ephesians 5:1-2.) But more importantly, Christ Himself taught His disciples to be like Him (John 13:15, 34 and 15:12). It is important to realize that the call to be Christ-like is a call to be like our heavenly Father.

Jesus – Our Example

How do we become like our heavenly Father? First, by God’s working all things together for our good. Many Christians know Romans 8:28: “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” By reading on to verse 29, we learn that through God’s working things out for our good we are conformed to the image of Christ, we become Christ-like. Also, God gives us all things we need in order to be like Him (Romans 8:32). Like our natural fathers, He provides an example for us, teaches us, and as we mature in Him, the fruit of the Spirit grows in us.

Jesus is our example. After the mother of James and John asked Jesus to grant her sons the seats on His right and left in His kingdom, Jesus explained to His disciples that just as He came to serve, so shall those who wish to be great serve (Matthew 20:21, 27-28). Also, after washing His disciples’ feet, He made it clear that He did so as an example for them (John 13:14-15). He even commanded His disciples to love one another as He loved them (John 13:34).

God provides us all we need to be like our heavenly Father, regardless of who our natural parents are, their inherent traits and their behavior. Giving us Jesus as an example is just one part of what He provides for us. He also teaches us to be like Him.

The Word – Our Teacher

God teaches us in many ways, just as our natural parents do (Deuteronomy 8:5). Like our natural parents teach us by giving us instruction and correcting us when we are wrong, God teaches us through His Word (2 Timothy 3:16-17). By learning through God’s Word, we mature in Him and become like Him. The writer of Hebrews explains we respect our natural parents when they correct us, yet they do so only as they consider proper and good (Hebrews 12:9-10 AMP). On the other hand, God’s correction is certainly for our good, to make us like Him. God also corrects us because He loves us (Proverbs 3:12).

I can remember the first time I heard someone quote James 1:22, “But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.” Have you ever sat in church, listened to the sermon, and thought to yourself, Wow, the preacher is really speaking to so-and-so today? I must confess I have been guilty of that a time or two. And the “so-and-so” was usually one of my children or my husband. Then I heard someone else quote James 1:22. I was reminded to be a doer, not a hearer only. And God gently impressed upon me that I should be listening to the sermon and applying it to my life, not someone else’s life. If all I do is listen and not apply the truth to my life, then I deceive myself, and must be corrected by the Word. I am thankful for God’s correction.

In addition to teaching by His Word, God also teaches us through our experiences, both good and bad. The apostle Paul taught the church in Rome to glory in tribulations (Romans 5:3-5). Doing so develops patience, hope and God’s love in our hearts. These are all Christ-like characteristics. In fact, the apostle James encouraged the church to be joyful when encountering the trials and temptations of life because they work patience in us, making us complete, needing nothing (James 1:2-4).

As I write this, my husband and I are working on the mission field in Costa Rica. In 2019 when we were preparing to move here, after a wonderful time of being confident in God’s calling and receiving multiple confirmations, we hit a time of trials. These trials ranged from concerns about our family, to attacks on our health, to financial matters. The trials made us wonder if we had misunderstood. Had God called us at all? The longer the trials lasted, the more God’s hand became obvious. He was teaching us to be flexible and to trust Him. Things on the mission field would not be as we expected them to be, but we needed to be flexible enough to roll with whatever came our way, and we needed to trust Him through every experience.

I can’t say we counted it all joy when we were going through the trials, yet we are now very happy God taught us these lessons. We would not have been prepared for this experience had we not been conformed into His likeness through those trials.

Like a good Father, God provides all we need to be like Him. He provides Christ as an example and teaches us through His Word and experiences. Further, through His Holy Spirit, God develops in us the fruit of the Spirit, which is “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance.” (Galatians 5:22-23).

Holy Spirit – Our Leader

It is no coincidence that love is listed first in the fruit of the Spirit. It is common knowledge that nutrition labels on food packages list the ingredients in order from most to least. Although every part of the fruit of the Spirit is equally important, I believe love is listed first because without it, the remaining content of the fruit of the Spirit is not possible. We must love before we can have joy and peace, or be patient, gentle, meek, and self-controlled. To be like Christ, we must love. But God does not leave us alone to strive to be like Christ on our own. Instead, the Holy Spirit leads us. As we follow the Spirit, we acquire from God the fruit of the Spirit just like we inherit both physical and nonphysical characteristics of our parents.

Confidence in God’s Fatherly Actions That Help Us Be Like Him

As we acknowledge Jesus as our example, the Word as our Teacher, and the Holy Spirit as our leader, our heavenly Father’s characteristics grow in us. God provided an example for us and taught us through His Word and our experiences. We grow in the fruit of the Spirit, inheriting His characteristics of love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance. We need not fear that we are just like our natural parents, who may not have been present or able to love us the way we needed. On the contrary, we can look at ourselves and have confidence that God has fathered us.

Adapted from Hey Dad, It’s Me! Discover the Father Who Loves and Protects You, to be published in October 2021.