How to Stabilize Your Frustrating Relationship With God

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God’s Remarkable Illustration in the Song of Solomon

The Song of Solomon. I think it is one of the least read books in the Bible. I recently spoke at a church service about the Song of Solomon. I asked the congregation, “How many of you have read the Song of Solomon?” No one in the room would admit to reading it! I was so surprised! Any person that has read the Bible in completion at least once has read the Song of Solomon. So, I expected to see a few people raise their hands. But no one did.

When I was much younger, my Christian walk was a bit of a roller coaster. Up and down. High and low. At the altar on Sunday, and at places I shouldn’t have been on Friday and Saturday. Even when I wasn’t going places I shouldn’t have been going to and doing things I shouldn’t have been doing, I still found my walk with God to be inconsistent. I struggled with finding stability in my relationship with God. And I have talked to and observed enough people over the years as I have taught and ministered to know that my experience is not uncommon.

Today I am going to share with you something I learned from studying the Song of Solomon. I trust this will help you even out the ups and downs, highs and lows, and inconsistencies in your walk with God.

The Song of Solomon as a Drama

Before I jump into the Song of Solomon, I want to lay some ground work.

Among the multitudes who read the Bible there are comparatively few who have a clear understanding of the Song of Solomon. Some have thought it to be a collection of songs, but it is more generally understood to be a sort of drama, the positive interpretation of which is impossible because the identity of the speakers and the length of the speeches are not disclosed (King James Version / Amplified Bible Parallel Edition. Zondervan, 1995).

We are going to look at this as a drama and we will use the identity of the speakers as set forth in the Amplified Version.

There are many different interpretations of the Song of Solomon. Some Christians view it as a story of love between a man and his wife. Other Christians view it as describing the love of Christ for his church. My personal opinion is that it is good to consider both interpretations. But today we will view it as a drama about the love of God for his church. Remember, all Christians (those who have entered into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ through salvation) are a part of His church. Thus, what we learn from reading the Song of Solomon applies to the church corporately, and to each of us individually.

Let’s identify the characters in the drama. The king represents Jesus. The Shulamite woman represents the Church as a whole, and also you and me individually. The watchmen are Satan and his demons.

I want to explore two situations in which the Shulamite woman went wandering around the city, what happened when she did in each of the situations, and why the consequences were different.  By comparing these situations, we will discover the remarkable illustration God has provided to help us stabilize our relationship with Him.

The Shulamite Woman Searches for the King

In Song of Solomon 3:1-4, the Shulamite woman sought the king, but she didn’t find him. So, she went out into the city streets to search for him, without success. Then she inquired of the watchmen. There doesn’t seem to be any response from the watchmen. Instead, she saw the king just a little passed the watchmen. We don’t know if she went to the king or he came to her. Since she is the one who held him and would not let him go, it would seem likely that she ran to him. He accepted her. And he allowed her to take him to a place of privacy.

Consider this as applicable to us and Jesus. We often seek the Lord in prayer and worship. But there are times when we don’t feel like He is there. So, we go searching for Him, or at least we go searching to fill the void we feel.

Jesus is the only One who can fill the void you feel. Where is the proper place to search for Him? In His Word! If we still don’t feel Him, who should we consult with? Our spiritual leaders, pastors, parents or friends who have a mature relationship with God.

But in this drama, who did the woman ask to help her? The watchmen, which represent Satan and his demons. Certainly, she didn’t know who the watchmen were. She thought the watchmen were there to protect her and help her. We would expect the same thing from security guards, or watchmen. But the watchmen weren’t there to protect her.

Fortunately, the king was nearby. The watchmen did not have an opportunity to respond. The king made himself visible and approachable. She ran to him, just like I hope we run to our Lord when we persistently search for Him and feel Him once again. The Bible promises in Jeremiah 29:13 that we will find Him when we seek Him with all of our hearts.

The Shulamite Woman Searches for the King Again

Now, let’s look at another time when the woman went looking for the king as recorded in Song of Solomon 5:2-7. The woman was in bed again, sleeping. This time the king sought her and woke her up by knocking on her door. He asked her to let him into her room. She didn’t want to be inconvenienced! In those days getting up and letting him in would have required that she dress again and later wash her feet again. She didn’t want to be bothered. The king reached through a hole in the door, she reconsidered. But by the time she got to the door, the king had already departed.

The woman again went searching for him. But this time the results of her search were much different. This time, the watchmen were waiting. They found her. They attacked her. They injured her. In verse 7 the Shulamite woman explains, “The keepers of the walls took away my veil from me.”  This indicates the watchmen took away her dignity and exposed her immodestly. I have heard some teachers explain that taking away the veil may be a polite way to say they raped her. Despite the injury, the woman found the king and he again expressed his love to her.

Identifying the Different Results of the Shulamite Woman’s Searches

So, what is the difference between the first time she went searching for the king and found Him just beyond the watchmen, and the second time when he was not nearby and she was harmed, severely harmed, by Satan and his demons?

Consider Song of Solomon 2:10-15, which describes the woman’s relationship with the king before her first search for the king. The two had endured some hard times together, they endured the winter, but spring had arrived. The king invited the woman to come up into the cliffs with him, which signified a deeper, higher relationship with him. She responded by climbing higher with him and expressing her love to him.

Now consider the difference between the first time the woman went searching for the king and the second. The difference has to do with the relationship. Just before the first incident, the king and the woman had been expressing love to each other routinely. They were so close that the king invited her into a deeper/higher relationship with him. And she responded by joining him in the cliffs and continuing to express her love. In that relationship, the king was never far off.

But just before the second incident, the woman had rejected the king. She found his invitation too inconvenient. It required too much effort to dress again and wash her feet again. She rejected him. Consequently, the king was not nearby. Who was? The watchmen. Satan and his demons. And they hurt her. Severely.

Eliminate the Frustration in Your Walk with God

So, do you want to get off the roller coaster ride of a spiritual life and eliminate the accompanying frustration? Then be like the Shulamite woman in the first incident. Be in God’s presence routinely and pray without ceasing as the Apostle Paul taught the church in Thessalonica in 1 Thessalonians 5:17. Be in God’s word for yourself — not just when you are at church — so that you hear God speak to you through His Word.

When you go through times, hard times when you don’t feel God near, it is OK to seek counsel from spiritual leaders God has clearly established in your life. Seek godly counsel. And if you make a mistake, if you step outside and look the wrong direction for Him, He will be right there. You will find Him quickly.

Don’t be like the Shulamite woman in the second incident. Do not reject the Lord. Do not treat Him like He is an inconvenience because He asks you to be holy as He is holy and to live soberly and vigilantly. (1 Peter 1:15-16; 5:8.) Doing so will lead to continued inconsistencies and frustration in your relationship with Him.

We don’t have to struggle with inconsistency in our spiritual walk, becoming more and more frustrated each time we seem to drift from God. God has given us this remarkable illustration in the Song of Solomon. Learn from the Shulamite woman and stay close to the King of kings, cherishing your time with Him and speaking love to Him through prayer and listening to Him speak to you through His Word. Then you will stabilize your relationship with God and will eliminate this frustration in your life.